When Hubby rushed home, and we mourned our baby boy, he remarked that the house seemed so deafeningly quiet, which he said was odd, seeing as Mozart never really spoke. He could barely get out a squeak, and often made silent meows. Lately, he had started trying out his voice, which sounded like a tortured yowl, and always brought me running to check that he was ok.
I know what H means, though. There's this huge, vast, emptiness without him. His absence screams of this huge void that makes it just unbearable. The house seems so empty without him.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Drinking
Both of us didn't drink a drop for a couple weeks after Bubby's death, for fear of amplifying our grief. I guess it still wasn't time yet, as tonight I'm well on my way to polishing off an (expensive) bottle of shiraz, and I'm just sobbing away. It's not good to be sad and buzzed.
Nicknames
Mozart had the most nicknames, as fitting his exalted status.
Motzie
Motzrug
P.O.D. (Purr On Demand)
Bubba
Bubby
Lion King
King of the Castle
Handsome Boy
Fuzzy Butt
Furry Butt
Big Boy
Purry Furry
Sir Sheds-A-Lot
Butterball
Will add as I remember.
Motzie
Motzrug
P.O.D. (Purr On Demand)
Bubba
Bubby
Lion King
King of the Castle
Handsome Boy
Fuzzy Butt
Furry Butt
Big Boy
Purry Furry
Sir Sheds-A-Lot
Butterball
Will add as I remember.
Favorites
Mozart was without a doubt Hubby's favorite little boy. There was no question. He loved him, and Bubby loved him back equally. He knew he was Hubby's favorite.
I tried really hard not to play favorites, but I have to admit in my heart of hearts that he was my favorite too. Obviously, I didn't hide it very well anyway, since I had been singing his praises just the week before to my pregnant friend, and when I mentioned his passing to our neighbors' daughter, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I know he was your favorite." It was obvious.
I tried really hard not to play favorites, but I have to admit in my heart of hearts that he was my favorite too. Obviously, I didn't hide it very well anyway, since I had been singing his praises just the week before to my pregnant friend, and when I mentioned his passing to our neighbors' daughter, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I know he was your favorite." It was obvious.
Older Post - Mozart And The Pillows
This was an older post from my regular blog, and it was with unbearable sadness that I read it. To think, when I wrote this back in August, he had even less time than I could imagine.
August 9, 2008 'Today's Catnip: Mozart's Head on Our Pillows'
Adorable, adorable, adorable. Did I mention adorable? Mozart this morning wakes me up at 5am by sticking his nose into my mouth, freaking me out. Then he settles in and lies down with just his head on my pillow, since there was space after I jerked my head back from my rude awakening. Then he took a turn on Hubby's pillow. Always has to wake us up to let us know he's sleeping with us, gets knudgies, then settles in. Always sleeps between us. Always has to be touching both of us. ADORABLE. Doesn't curl up entire body on pillow like other kitties, just his little head. Just like a human. OMG. ADORABLE.
When I saw him laying his head on the pillow, the excruciatingly sad thought crossed my mind that he's such a special one-of-a kind kitty and we will never have another kitty like him. Ever. Some of it was that he was an only kitten when we adopted him, so he imprinted like a human. But some of it's just this special orange cat. So special. Gonna go hug the stuffing out of him now.
From 2003:
August 9, 2008 'Today's Catnip: Mozart's Head on Our Pillows'
Adorable, adorable, adorable. Did I mention adorable? Mozart this morning wakes me up at 5am by sticking his nose into my mouth, freaking me out. Then he settles in and lies down with just his head on my pillow, since there was space after I jerked my head back from my rude awakening. Then he took a turn on Hubby's pillow. Always has to wake us up to let us know he's sleeping with us, gets knudgies, then settles in. Always sleeps between us. Always has to be touching both of us. ADORABLE. Doesn't curl up entire body on pillow like other kitties, just his little head. Just like a human. OMG. ADORABLE.
When I saw him laying his head on the pillow, the excruciatingly sad thought crossed my mind that he's such a special one-of-a kind kitty and we will never have another kitty like him. Ever. Some of it was that he was an only kitten when we adopted him, so he imprinted like a human. But some of it's just this special orange cat. So special. Gonna go hug the stuffing out of him now.
From 2003:
 |
| From Mozart Pics |
 |
| From Mozart Pics |
Mozart And The Vacuum
Pulled out the handheld to pick up a few crumbs, and broke my heart again. No more Mozart eagerly running up to get vacuumed. He was the only one unafraid of them, and he would run up every time without fail. He loved the handheld vacuums, standing straight waiting to get the vacuum lightly over his fur, then get a treatie.
In fact, when I got the louder Black & Deckers, I worried about them being too loud on kitties' ears. He still would run right up for a grooming, and I would have to tell him to go away because they were too loud. He was so smart he'd walk away just a little distance and watch, waiting for his treatie anyway.
In fact, when I got the louder Black & Deckers, I worried about them being too loud on kitties' ears. He still would run right up for a grooming, and I would have to tell him to go away because they were too loud. He was so smart he'd walk away just a little distance and watch, waiting for his treatie anyway.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Little Past Week Three
Haven't been crying every time I think of Bubby. But cried and cried last night while talking to L about it. Was the first time I'd spoken about it to anyone besides Pamela and Hubby since Bubby died. Pamela's been just unbelievably supportive thru our loss, and her texts have comforted me no end.
Last Sunday Ginza yanked out the plaster cast paw we placed under Bubby's pillow at his favorite window. The reminder set me crying. The next day, Ginza yanked the collar I wrapped around his little box, and that set me off again. I put them both into my top drawer.
Today I thought I could handle coming back to this blog to do a bit of tweaking, but started crying again when I saw his pics. It's hard to do anything thru the tears. My heart hurts so much, and I can't seem to catch my breath.
Last Sunday Ginza yanked out the plaster cast paw we placed under Bubby's pillow at his favorite window. The reminder set me crying. The next day, Ginza yanked the collar I wrapped around his little box, and that set me off again. I put them both into my top drawer.
Today I thought I could handle coming back to this blog to do a bit of tweaking, but started crying again when I saw his pics. It's hard to do anything thru the tears. My heart hurts so much, and I can't seem to catch my breath.
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